What’s the gossip?

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts. ~Proverbs 26:20-22 NIV

Are you a person tempted to gossip? Or perhaps you are one who thrills to hear the words of a gossip? The Lord compares gossip to fire in these verses, as well as food. As you share gossip, it’s as if you are adding fuel to a fire. Or it is like delicious food that deeply satisfies you when you hear it. And the result is strife, kindled by the fuel of gossip. People who trade in rumors and innuendo are considered to be troublemakers – quarrelsome.

If sin weren’t attractive and enticing, would you be all that enthralled by it? Probably not. For some, gossip is almost irresistible. Almost, because God himself promises in 1 Corinthians 10:13 that you can resist the temptation to gossip:

No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

If you are a person given to talking too much about other people, ask the Lord to purify you of this habit. Pray today that God will give you the eyes and ears to see and hear this in your own life for what it is, and agree with the Lord that this behavior is sinful disobedience.

Pray for inner strength to resist the temptation to speak of others, unless your words meet God’s standards for your speech in Ephesians 4:29:

Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.

Want to read more on this topic?

• Don’t fuel the fire
• Did I say that?
• Shhh! It’s a secret…

Love to talk?

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences. ~Proverbs 18:21 NLT

U.S. President Calvin Coolidge earned his nickname, “Silent Cal.”

Your words are powerful. Calvin Coolidge (1872-1933), the 30th U.S. President, understood this principle. He earned (and may even have cultivated) the nickname “Silent Cal.” A man who knew how to control his tongue, he once remarked, “The words of a President have an enormous weight, and ought not to be used indiscriminately.”

Coolidge also once quipped, “Nothing I never said ever did me any harm.”

A long-time elected official serving in local, state and national offices, by the time he became President, Coolidge had a reputation as a skilled and effective public speaker. But in private, he truly was a man of few words. Dorothy Parker, a well-known author and satirist at the time, seated next to him at dinner, said, “Mr. Coolidge, I’ve made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible to get more than two words out of you.” His famous reply: “You lose.” When Parker learned that Coolidge had died, she reportedly remarked, “How can they tell?”

In the Bible, God spoke things into existence. Nine times in the first chapter of Genesis, the scripture records that “God said,” and something suddenly existed that had not existed before the Lord spoke.

Jesus addresses this subject in Matthew 5:21-22. Here he makes it clear that the words you use can have eternal significance:

“You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘Do not murder,and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell.

In Colossians 3:16-17, the apostle Paul instructs Christ-followers how to speak:

Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

“Silent Cal” was right: Things you never say really won’t do you harm. Ask the Lord today to help you tame your tongue.

Don’t fuel the fire

Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood. ~Proverbs 26:20-21 NLT

“Tale-bearers are as bad as the tale-makers.” ~Richard Brinsley Sheridan

Are you a person given to gossip?

The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language defines “gossip” as:

1. Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.
2. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts.
3. Trivial, chatty talk or writing.

According to this verse, gossip causes quarrels. And the arguments all seem to evaporate when the gossip ceases.

Your speech is important to the Lord. Consider the wisdom offered in 1 Peter 3:10:

For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.”

Since gossip leads to quarreling. it should be considered an evil of the tongue. By dealing in rumors, you may be adding fuel to the fire of a quarrel without even realizing it. If you are the one whispering intimate or private rumors – or even facts – stop.

Think before you speak

Those who control their tongue will have a long life; opening your mouth can ruin everything. ~Proverbs 13:3 NLT

This verse is a simple promise of a blessing, coupled with a warning against talking too much. The formula is an easy one: Discipline yourself to control your tongue, and be careful to think before you speak.

Easier said than done?

The New International Version translates Proverbs 13:10 as, “He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.” Two different Hebrew words, natzar and shamar, are translated “guards.” Both are commonly used to mean “protect,” “keep a watch over,” or “maintain.”

A free and impetuous talker expresses – unexamined and unconsidered – whatever comes into his or her mind. Perhaps you know a person who speaks without thinking. Often it seems they speak words that are hurtful, harmful, careless, or even self-destructive.

In what ways can careless words cause you trouble? Here’s a partial list, gleaned from various Old and New Testament scriptures. Sins of the tongue include:

• arrogance (1 Samuel 2:3)
• boasting (Psalm 94:4)
• bitter remarks (Ephesians 4:29-32)
• complaining (Numbers 11:1)
• debate (Romans 1:29),
• despising others (Proverbs 11:12)
• disrespect to parents (Proverbs 20:20; Deuteronomy 27:16)
• false accusations (Exodus 20:16; Titus 2:3)
• filthy language/sexual innuendos (Colossians 3:8)
• flattery (Psalm 12:3)
• flattering titles (Job 32:21-22)
• foolish jesting (Ephesians 5:4)
• foolish talking (Ephesians 5:4)
• harsh fathering (Colossians 3:21)
• hasty or broken vows (Ecclesiastes 5:1-7)
• hypocritical worship (Isaiah 29:13)
• long, repetitive prayers (Matthew 6:7)
• name calling (Matthew 5:22)
• ostentatious praying (Matthew 6:5)
• questioning God (Romans 9:20)
• slander (Proverbs 10:18)
• speaking against a leader (Ezekiel 33:30; 3 John 1:9-10)
• speaking evil of dignitaries (Ecclesiastes 10:20; Judges 1:8)
• speaking evil of a brother (James 4:11)
• swearing (James 5:12)
• taking the Lord’s name in vain (Exodus 20:7)

Are your words carefully considered before they escape your lips? Ask the Lord to reveal to you any ways in which you might improve your speech today.

Did I say that?

Without wood a fire goes out; without a gossip a quarrel dies down. ~Proverbs 26:20 NIV

Have you ever been involved in an uncomfortable situation that was caused, at least in part, by gossip? Things whispered in secret seem so often to end up being devisive or hurtful.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines “gossip” as:

1. Rumor or talk of a personal, sensational, or intimate nature.
2. A person who habitually spreads intimate or private rumors or facts.
3. Trivial, chatty talk or writing.

Interestingly, the word “gossip” has its roots in the Old English term “godsibb,” which meant “godparent.” This came from from “god” + “sib” (from which we get our present-use term “sibling”). The term came to be applied to familiar friends, especially a woman’s female friends at the birth of a child, hence a person – especially a woman – fond of light talk.

Gossip is certainly not engaged in exclusively by women. But it is condemned many times in scripture, regardless of what gender the gossip may be. Consider these references, just from Proverbs:

• Proverbs 11:13 – A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
• Proverbs 16:28 – A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
• Proverbs 18:8 and 26:22 – The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to the inmost parts.
• Proverbs 20:19 – A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.

Most people don’t think ahead to the consequences of their actions and words. How will you invite the Lord to help you control what you say today?